Time : 12.14 am

Shuwen life story

I'm sentimental today . An hour ago , I'm happliy drinking milk tea . Now , troubles start haunting me . I tell myself that there is nothing to be afraid about . My friends will love me till the end . Lijun will always be my ultimate best friend . Now that I think about it , im afraid that there would be a day that everything was taken away from me . My friends would be gone and I will be all alone . My sister will be leaving me sooner or later . I can't afford to lose my friends .

2010 wasn't a very good year for me . TWSS literally wrecked my whole life . It turned everything upside down . I'm not suppose to be like this . I'm not suppose to be emotional . I'm suppose to be happy everytime . I was a optimistic but , when I entered TWSS , I became a pessimistic . I'm afraid of everything . I'm afraid of being alone . Would my friends leave me alone ? I'm afraid of loneliness . I experienced it before and it wasn't a very pleasant thing . It was horrible . I was left at a corner . At class , I was like an outsider . People couldnt see that I was in pain . When im in need , no one offered to help me . I tried to stay positive . At least I have ONE friend , Charmaine . I was really glad she didn't left me alone . She was different from the rest . No matter what people say about me , it doesn't affect her thinking about me . One sentence from (enter your name ) Can change everyone's thinking about me .

I tried my best to change . They wouldn't even give me a chance . I begged them to tell me what did I do wrong . Why is it that they wouldn't give me a chance to change ? WHY ??? if they did , I wouldn't laugh until I cry . I wouldn't have those fears , I wouldn't have feared of being alone anymore . I just don't see why must they do this to me . Does it benefit them in anyway ?

But my life got better . I have my friends back . Great . When they whisper to one another , I would get real scared that they were talking about me . I got really scared that I would lose then again . I lost a few but I got Lijun . Life got better and better as I enjoyed myself alot with Lijun .

Life turned upside down when I fell in love . It wrecked my life again after I rebuilt it . Why ? Why would there be a bastard to play and toy with my feelings ? Took me a month before I stop thinking about it . If I didn't fall in love with him , I wouldnt have those days when I cried myself to sleep .

Things got better when I joined TUR . I was cheerful again . I loved them alot and the made me feel secured . They have the warmest smile . Their laughter brightened up my day . Their concern and care made me tear . They are the best and I love and cherish them alot . Thanks alot for making my life a whole lot better .

Now , I'm afraid . There is another obstacle in my life again . I just need to trust myself . This obstacle is really huge . I guess I can only count on myself to go through it . I only have myself now . Jiayous Tan Shuwen .